Some of the things I’ve done, or had done to me in a relationship proved to be incredibly unhealthy. Part of the reasons I’ve messed up were simply not liking myself enough to let other people try and do the same. There was a long string of failed relationships and I always thought it was them. It of course couldn’t be my fault..
To be perfectly blunt: I was an idiot.
While true, for the most part my ‘bad taste’ was a symptom of a larger problem.
Aside from being a generally (and completely) illogical person back then- I also had some rather large self esteem issues, which I truly thought would be solved by dating.
Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.
Unfortunately, it also took a rather long series of horribly failed relationships for me to finally realize this.
At times I wish I could go back and slap my older self, maybe even try and talk some sense into me back then. Yet, at the same time I realize I just wouldn’t have listened* in addition to those same mistakes that I hate have made me who I am today.
While sure, I have some regrets- at the same time I realize that they helped me turn into this person I am now. I honestly like me a lot, I suppose I wish I felt the same then.
I’d still like to kick the younger me’s butt though.
*Not even to a time traveling version of me.
